My connection with Taylor Swift goes back a long way. It began with my passion for a certain pair of shoes. When I was three years old, I decided I was tired of my white “baby” shoes. I wanted “big boy” shoes and my mother took me to the shoe store. I was amazed with the variety and colors available and was entranced by a pair of red Keds.
After measuring my little feet, the salesman went to the back and returned with a box which he carefully opened and proudly brought out a pair of shoes. But they were blue, not red. He explained to me and my mother that blue was for boys, red was for girls. I hadn’t realized that sexual identity was color coded, but knew what I liked and demanded the red Keds. The salesman looked to my mother for support. “Give the boy what he wants,” she said. I danced out of the store in my new red shoes.
Over the years I began working in the emerging field of gender-specific medicine and men’s mental, emotional, and relational health. I was writing an article and wanted to show that sex and gender stereotypes had changed. I did a Google Images search for “red Keds,” expecting to find pictures of males and females, but saw only females and most were of Taylor Swift.
I first felt an identification with her choice of footwear, then began listening to her music, and finally came to appreciate Taylor Swift’s savvy as a business woman. When I learned about a new book, Swiftynomics: How Women Mastermind and Redine Our Economy, I knew I wanted to interview the author, Dr. Misty L. Heggeness.
Dr. Heggeness is codirector of the Kansas Population Center, Associate Professor of Economics and Public Affairs at the University of Kansas, and former Principal Economist and Senior Advisor at the US Census Bureau. You can read my exclusive interview here. For Dr. Heggeness, her book reflects both her professional and personal interest in Taylor Swift, her music and her work.
“When I first started paying attention to Taylor Swift, she was already well past her Reputation era and immersed in promoting her album Lover,” says Dr. Heggeness. “She seemed to have layers of self-confience, ambition, and wisdom beyond her years.”
That was my own feeling after connecting with Taylor Swift’s music and professional skills and experience.
“She was unique and unusual in her ability to speak her truth, from her vantage point, and her fans soaked it up,” says Heggeness. “Tall, gangly, awkward, sparkly, and girly — she had all the characteristics that society so easily dismisses in women. At first blush, one might wonder what she might possibly teach me, a professional economist who studies women and work.”
One might also wonder why a psychotherapist with a PhD in International Health and a sixty-year career helpling men and their families would find important about Taylor Swift and what she can teach us all about love, life, and success. I hope you take time to explore with me. I believe it will be well worth your time.
I agree with Dr. Heggenness when she says,
“Some may believe Taylor Swift has beaten men at their game, but I think she is simply playing her own game. Challenged by a society, culture, and industry not made to benefit her, she used her best mastermind strategies to create a path forward.”
I believe that resonates with me and I feel it will resonate with millions of men as well as women. Dr. Heggenness concludes,
“She perfected the art of escaping confines. She leaned into the power of women’s experience and voices. In so doing, she developed a movement, a ‘Swiftynomics” movement, if you will. She focused on providing art and experiences that other women (and men) who are shriving as economic belings want.”
Swiftynomics assesses the complex economic lives of everyday American women through stories of groundbreakers like Taylor Swift. Dr. Misty L. Heggeness digs into the data, revealing women’s overlooked contributions and aspirations — the unexamined value by create by pursuing their ambitions. Dr. Heggeness emphasizes that the book is not just for women, but for men as well.
She says, “Taylor will continue to reinvent herself in a new era, continue to thrive and live her best life. Perhaps even more important is your next reinvention. I have no doubt that you are up to the challenge.”
We can all learn a lot from his engaging and practical book.
Riane Eisler and Our Partnership Roots
Another powerful and successful woman who has influenced my life and my work is Riane Eisler. I first met Riane in 1987 shortly after the publication of her book, The Chalice & the Blade: Our History, Our Future. I remember discussing our views on the future of humanity and the healing that needed to occur between men and women. My first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man had been published in 1983, where I described my own healing journey. At a time when many female writers were blaming men for the problems in the world, I appreciated that Riane understood that the problem was not men, but the system of domination that harmed both women and men.
When I first read these words in The Chalice & the Blade, I was moved by their simplicity, vision, and truth:
“Underlying the great surface diversity of human culture are two basic models of society. The first, which I call the dominator model, is what is popularly termed either patriarchy or matriarchy — the ranking of one half of humanity over the other. The second, in which social relations are primarily based on the principle of linking rather than ranking, may best be described as the partnership model. In this model — beginning with the most fundamental difference in our species, between male and female — diversity is not equated with either inferiority or superiority.”
In her more recent book, Nurturing Our Humanity: How Domination and Partnership Shape Our Brains, Lives, and Future, written with anthropologist Douglas P. Fry, they say,
“The central features of partnership systems include:
- overall egalitarianism;
- equality, respect, and partnership between women and men;
- a nonacceptance of violence, war, abuse, cruelty, and exploitation; and
- ethics that support human caring, prosocial cooperation, and flourishing.”
These are the values, I believe, we recognize in the music, life, love, and the values and practices of Taylor Swift.
Women and Men, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, Me and You: Together We Can Change the World for Good
My wife, Carlin, and I recently celebrated our 45th anniversary. Like Taylor and Travis, we had numerous relationship breakups and heartaches before we met. I share the things Carlin and I have learned in my book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Tranformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come and offer an on-line course for couples, “Navigating the 5 Stages of Love.”
The famous psychoanalyst, Sigmund Freud, once said,
“Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”
We can learn a great deal about these twin pillars of life from Taylor Swift and her ongoing relationship with football star Travis Kelce.
Millions of women and men throughout the world saw the headlines last year:
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s Love Story — From Friendship Bracelets to Engagement Rings.
In an article by Jocelyn Noveck and Maria Sherman, August 26, 2025, they reported,
“It started with a friendship bracelet. It ended with an engagement ring. Taylor Swift, the pop superstar, and Travis Kelce, the football champion, are engaged. The fiancés, both 35, announced the news in a joint post on Instagram on Tuesday. It is the latest chapter in the couple’s love story, one that has spanned two years, two Super Bowls, an album announcement and the highest-grossing tour of all time.”
For Carlin and me, it is fun to enjoy the evolution of two iconic individuals whose love lives and work lives inspire the world. I’m sure you will have no trouble finding more information about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce and their upcoming marriage.
If you’d like to learn more about Misty L. Heggeness and her book, Swiftynomics: How Women Mastermind and Redine Our Economy, you can click the link below:
https://www.mistyheggeness.com
If you’d like to see my interview with Dr. Heggeness and enjoy our in-depth converation, you may do so here.
If you would like to read more articles about love, life, and relationships you can subscribe to my free weekly newsletter here: https://menalive.com/email-newsletter/
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